I’d like to start by saying that I am incredibly thankful for each and every poor misguided soul that pays attention to and/or follows me in any and all corners of this here internet. For it is all of you who know the assorted layers of my personality and still stick around and feed into my nonsense and make me feel relevant. I hope you’re all happy. :P
For my friends, particularly the ones who have been around the longest. The ones who have stuck by me as I have evolved so drastically this year. The ones who deflate my head when it gets too big, and the ones that help me piece myself back together any time a part of me shatters. The ones who I can go weeks and months without seeing, and fall right back into step with. You have all taught me what friendships as an adult really mean, and despite the difficulty, I’m so very appreciative.
For my horrible job and workplace for keeping me employed for so many years despite my attitude and honesty towards the politics and environment. For funding my lifestyle and giving me excessive opportunities that most people my age don’t have. For giving me a good reason to get out of bed every day, even on the days that I don’t want to. For the handful of coworkers that do manage to keep me sane.
For all the guys who I have seen come and go (and cum and go) this year. As much as I’d rather punch, I just want to thank you all for slowly beginning to knock down all the walls that I’ve had built up for so long and for helping me learn all the things that I do and don’t want in a relationship and in another person. With every misstep, I find myself only getting stronger.
For my 13 months of sobriety and all the ways that my body and my mind have changed as a result of it.
For my rave family, and to all the kandi trades that have turned into friendships with some of the most amazing and genuine people that I have ever met. For teaching me so much about myself and about the world around me. For all the weekend nights that have turned into mornings, drenched in sweat with a huge smile on my face.
For my mother, who always has and always will be right by my side and there for me to the best of her ability, despite our relationship being the most complicated one in both of our lives.
For the guy who will always come first in my life, a friendship that is entirely offbeat that most still can’t comprehend, but is so fucking important to me. For all the years it took us to figure it out, and how perfectly we fit into one another’s lives. For the amazing person you’ve become and a love and admiration that I can’t explain, so I’ve ceased even trying. For the most worthwhile $500 that I have ever spent and the phenomenal weekend that it will result in.
For my best friend, who totally snuck up on me. Who has taken the time and effort to get to know every complicated subsection of who I am and still loves me. Who has made both a 14 mile and a 40 mile distance vanish completely. Who has evolved right alongside of me. Who has spent hours sitting, laying, laughing, yelling, crying, and screaming right beside me. Who I don’t say that I appreciate nearly enough.
And lastly for myself, who I have never loved more. For everything she has endured and become. For every morsel of blatant honesty that drips out of her mouth and everything she has lost and won because of it. For becoming the best version she has ever been. For putting out so much positivity and getting so much back, as a result. For refusing to be anything but 100% exactly what she is.