A little over a year ago, I posted a list of rules I live by, and felt the need to update it. Click here for the original.

1. Civility is a virtue. It isn’t being fake; it’s being an adult. You don’t need to be friends with people you don’t like. You don’t need to be a cunt to them either.
2. Know yourself inside and out, better than anyone else will ever know you. Your strengths, your flaws, your weaknesses – and embrace them.
3. Unless you’d say it to their face, don’t say it behind their back. More often than not, just go ahead and say it to their face.
4. Don’t draw opinions on things you know nothing about. Don’t force your opinions on others. Respect the fact that people like things that you don’t and hate things that you do. Live and let live.
5. Love yourself before you ever try to love someone else.
6. Find something decent in any situation, no matter how bad it seems.
7. Keep your ego and check, and surround yourself with people who will knock you down when you need to be.
8. If you don’t know something, look it up. No excuses.
9. Don’t spend excessive amounts of time in your head alone. Take someone with you if you must take the trip.
10. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves your trust, respect and compassion until they give you a reason that they don’t.
11. Be observant and aware of everything and everyone around you. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ll learn.
12. Be careful of those you hold onto. Be more careful of those you let go of.
13. Don’t date someone just because they’d date you. Don’t have sex with someone just because they want to have sex with you. Don’t love someone just because they’re in love with you. Never settle. You’re entitled to your standards.
14. Never let distance, literal or figurative, get in the way.
15. Remember that everyone has a reason. Everyone has a story.
16. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business. Your opinion of you is the only one that matters. The only expectations you need live up to are your own.
17. Eat whatever you want, wear whatever you want, do whatever you want and be whoever you want — as long as you’re not hurting anyone. 
18. What doesn’t kill you will only make you more mature.
19. If you care about someone, make sure they know it.
20. Don’t let anyone take up space in your head or your heart who hasn’t earned it.
21. Take a step back and a deep breath to process your emotions before you react.
22. Only make compliments that are sincere. Graciously accept compliments, even if you think they aren’t.
23. It’s impossible to have enough friends. Everyone can teach you something about yourself or the world around you.
24. Smile more than you frown, take more opportunities than you turn down, laugh more than you cry, and help more than you hurt.
25. You’re young, you’re beautiful, you’re perfect the way you are and you’re just fine on your own. Know that.

I think one of the biggest reasons I’m single is because I say whatever the fuck I want to guys. Countless times, I’ve rehashed conversations with males to my friends and have been met with a resounding “you actually said that to him?” Yes. Why? I stay missing that microchip where I’m supposed to play coy or leave something to the imagination or refrain from calling him out on some dumb, corny, predictable or just straight-up nasty shit he says. I’ve just rarely spoken to a guy who makes me worry about that kinda stuff. It’s rarely dawns on me to do so. I realize that I’m probably supposed to be making more an effort to play nice in this equation, but I’ve never felt as though I needed a guy or needed a relationship so bad that I have to walk on eggshells in conversation to make him like me. I feel no need to “say the right thing”. I know that’s probably a bad thing, but it’s a habit that I can’t seem to curb. If you’re shadily trying to sext me at 3am.. I’m going to react. If I don’t agree with one of your nonsensical opinions.. yeah. What you see and what you hear is pretty much what you’re gonna get with me. And for the most part, there’s way too much of me for you to handle. Which is precisely why you’re probably not gonna be the guy for me anyways. I’m content knowing that there’s probably some crazy fuck who will be able to ~tame me out there somewhere, chillin’, and when he comes around, he won’t be batting an eyelash at whatever unfiltered shit comes out of my mouth. Is that my own fucked-up fairy tale ending? So fucking be it.

But fuck that other 20%. I spend it worrying about the opinions of people that I know I shouldn’t give an ever loving shit about. It lies in the uncertainty of someone having an issue with me and my not knowing it. I have the utmost respect for people who don’t like me and ACT like they don’t like me. I’m abrasive, and annoying and way too honest. I’m fat and fine with it. I think I’m awesome and fucking say so. I’m rude and sarcastic and I will make jokes at your expense before I even know you. I’m a fucking handful. Sure, there’s a million reasons not to like me. I get it. Fuck it, that doesn’t bother me. It’s the people who come up to me at parties and hug me and ask me how I am, when in actuality, they can’t stand me. What is the point in exerting that energy onto me? Stand in the corner and don’t approach me. Glare at me. Ignore my fucking presence and act like I don’t exist. Just be real. If there’s someone who I don’t like, for whatever reason, in my vicinity, you will never, in a million years, catch me air-kissing them on the cheek, making small talk, acting like I give a shit about their lives and telling them I love their shirt. Stop that shit. Civility is awesome. I’m all for it. But it’s when people go above and beyond niceties one day, and shit-talk me the next. I never have and never will be able to comprehend it.

Everything happens exactly how it’s supposed to and exactly when it’s supposed to. Always.

Not only is it good karma, but it really helps curb that whole ‘being a cunt’ thing.